This article was writen by a Kooth mental health writer and contains mentions of: religion, LGBTQIA+, family relationships, and mindfulness.

Religion can be a source of comfort for a lot of people; something that brings them closer to their family, and their community; and it can help people to make sense of things that happen, both good and bad.

And for many people, there will be a lot of good things about being raised religious. There might also be some challenges at times, as there can be with any part of family life. Sometimes, we might experience a bit of a culture clash, especially if our parents were raised in a different culture.

Even though we share their beliefs, we might find ourselves disagreeing over how to practise religion.

In this article, we’re going to look at some of the benefits of being raised in a religious setting, as well as some of the challenges that we might face.

It Runs in the Family

If our parents have a religious belief, then there’s a good chance that they will want to share that belief with us when we’re young.

And if we have a religious upbringing, it’s probably not just the religion that our parents are including us in: they will be bringing us into their support network, their community, their culture.

After all, it’s something that is important to them, so it makes sense that they want us to be able to join in.

All this means that if our parents are religious, it’s likely we will be raised religious too.

For some people, the support network, community, and culture that their parents raised them in goes on to be an important part of their own life, and they might even pass it on to their own children in time.

As we get older, religion may stay a big part of our life, and it can be something we can continue to practise and share with our loved ones.

How we practise might change over our lifetimes as well, as we grow and change, or as we learn to balance other commitments with religion.

For some people, though, as they grow and have their own experiences, they may find themselves developing an identity that is independent from their parents, and part of this might involve questioning their parents’ religion.

Additionally, a lot of LGBTQIA+ young people struggle with the fact that their parents are part of a religion that might not be very tolerant towards their community.

This can create a great deal of fear and anxiety for that young person, as they don’t know if their own family will accept them if they come out.

A Sensitive Subject

Although it might be tricky, it can sometimes be worth having open and honest conversations with our families about religion if we feel that our beliefs are different to them.

Here are some tips for having that conversation in a way that lets your parents know you still love and respect them and their beliefs.

• Mindful Acceptance: Because religion is also about community, there may still be some elements that your parents expect you to participate in. For example, you might still have to attend church, mosque, synagogue, etc. Mindfulness can help us to process these situations, allowing us to feel our emotions without being overwhelmed by them. For tips on how to practise mindfulness, check out the Kooth mini activities.

• Be flexible to their point of view: As we mentioned above, sharing their religion with you might be a really special thing for your parents. For them, religion might be a way for you to bond, for example through festivals and events, so when you tell them you no longer believe, they might need a little time to adjust, and maybe to grieve for certain experiences that they had looked forward to sharing with you.

• Be honest: Sometimes, the best thing to do is just be honest. Although lying can sometimes be necessary, in this situation it’s probably better to let your parents know how you feel.

• Shoulder to Shoulder: As you might have read or heard in our Shoulder to Shoulder series, doing an activity with someone whilst talking can make it easier to open up, as it takes the pressure off slightly. If you’re finding it difficult to talk to your family about religion, why not try doing it over a shared activity? It can be something as simple as going for a walk together. Sometimes, just standing side by side and removing the constant eye contact can help make these conversations much easier.

These are just a few suggestions for how to begin having these difficult conversations with family members.

Unfortunately, there’s no magic fix that will work for everyone, but hopefully by using the above as a starting point, you will find the methods that are best for you.