This article was written by a mental health writer, Georgia. It contains the following themes: peer pressure, anxiety, shoplisting, friendships.

What is peer pressure?

Peer pressure means feeling like you have to do something because people around you want you to or expect you to. It affects people of all ages, from childhood to adulthood. All of us want to feel like we belong, whether it be in our families, with our friends, or in our wider communities. Wanting to belong is part of being human, which is why it can feel tempting to do everything you can to fit in.

Sometimes doing things to fit in is okay, like sharing the same books, films, or games. But sometimes people might pressure you to do things you don’t want to do, like hurt someone else, do something unsafe, or do something to get you into trouble.

The pressure to shoplift

Shoplifting (stealing from shops) is something that many people are peer pressured into doing. Someone might suggest it as a dare or a prank, or make it seem like it’s just a bit of fun. But the reality is, it might get you into a lot of trouble and affect your life ahead.

Shoplifting or stealing is against the law, and breaking the law can have serious consequences – you could be arrested and taken to a police station. If you are charged, it could go on your criminal record, which is an official record of any criminal offences you have. It’s common for employers to check your record before offering you a job, so anything that is on there, no matter how long ago, can affect you and what you want to do in the future – including getting into university, or travelling to a certain country.

Each situation is different, but it’s hard to go back and change things if you get in trouble with the police. Remember, you have the right to say no to doing something illegal, even if you trust the people who are telling you to do it.

Managing the pressure to shoplift

It can be hard to say no to your friends, especially when they’re all joining in. Sometimes it can feel like you have to do what they tell you to in order to fit in or not be left out.

But it’s not okay for friends to pressure you like this. You have the right to say no to any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

Here are five tips that might help you stand up against peer pressure:

• Build confidence: Find small ways to build assertiveness and challenge peer pressure. Practise saying ‘no’ so that it’s easier when someone asks, or practise explaining that you’re going to pay for something instead of stealing it.

• Have an excuse in your back pocket: It should always be okay to say no to something you don’t want to do. But if it feels too difficult, you could think of an excuse to use, like “I need to be home soon”.

• Change the situation: Avoid situations where you may be under pressure to do something you don’t want to do. Leave the situation if you’re feeling really uncomfortable. And if you don’t feel comfortable doing what your friends are doing, you could suggest something else instead.

• Find positive coping mechanisms: Discover some ways to lower your anxiety or nerves surrounding peer pressure. Write those worries down in a notebook, and practise what helps you relax – like listening to music, playing a game, or speaking to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.

• Reach out for support – If you are a young person who has experienced peer pressure, you are certainly not alone. If you’d like to speak to a Kooth mental health professional about anything at all, you can get anonymous support by message or live chat.

Remember, it’s natural for people to change and for peer groups to change, too. Don’t feel like you have to to stay friends with the same people if you’re no longer comfortable around them. There will be people out there who get you – even if you have not found them yet.

If you’ve not been impacted by peer pressure, it’s still likely someone around you might have been. If you notice someone else being pressured into doing something they aren’t comfortable with, it could really help to talk with them and ask if they are happy to tell a trusted adult. You might want to stand up for them, however, it’s important not to do anything that puts you or anyone else in a dangerous situation.