This article was written by a Kooth mental health writer. It contains mentions of the following themes: grief, self-care, and connecting with others.
We know that grief is individual to us. We all think, feel and behave differently and because of this, our needs are very unique too. Our ability to care for ourselves and recognise what we need might depend on the intensity of our grief and our individual responses. For some, caring for ourselves while we grieve is something that isn’t too problematic. But for others, especially when our grief feels intense and all consuming, self-care can be something we avoid, forget or simply don’t prioritise as being important.
Wherever you are in your grief journey, you are important. And so we’d like to focus on how you can care for yourself during this time.
Kooth is full of useful resources, content and support services to help you navigate your emotions after a crime
What is self-care?
Self-care is something that you do consciously to meet your mental, physical and emotional needs. It’s the little things we might do to make us feel good, safe, or even just connected with ourselves or others. Things like taking a shower, chatting with a friend, going for a walk, spending time with a pet, or simply sitting quietly with a warm drink for five minutes are all important acts of self care.
Why is self-care so important?
Because you are! Taking time for yourself, is a reminder of just how important you are whatever else is going on in your life. And doing things that feel good for your mind, body and soul can make you feel better, more equipped to deal with life’s challenges and less overwhelmed when things feel too much.
You may even notice you have more energy, motivation and feel more relaxed when you practice daily self care.
If self-care feels difficult for you right now, you are not alone. When we are grieving, self-care might feel difficult. Some people feel guilty for taking care of themselves when they are experiencing grief and loss instead of focusing on their grief. Some people might even feel selfish for prioritising their own needs, or even angry with themselves for making space for themselves when the person or thing they grieve is no longer here. It’s important to remember that practicing self-care doesn’t mean you are not grieving, it just means you are taking care of you too.
Allowing yourself to factor in other things in your life at your own pace, is a helpful reminder that while your grief is so important for you right now, so are you. Of course, this might take a bit of practice so we have some ideas below to get you started.
Self-care checklist
Because we know self care is so important, we have created a helpful daily self-care checklist for you to think about during your grief journey.
Find some time to go outside.
Fresh air is good for our body and our mind. It can change our mood if we are feeling stuck and unmotivated. Perhaps you don’t want to get out of bed some days, but having a small amount of fresh air can be really beneficial. If physically going outside feels too much, standing by an open door or window might be enough for you to begin with and that’s okay.
Do something you enjoy.
Doing something you enjoy can really boost your mood. Watching a comforting TV show, listening to some music, reading a book or simply making a cup of tea might be helpful when we are feeling sad because of our loss.
Get your body moving.
Moving your body is great for your physical and mental health too, as it releases those feel good hormones that can make you feel better when you’re in a difficult place emotionally.
Make sure you eat and drink enough.
Meeting your basic needs like food and drink can help you get through the day by boosting your energy levels. Making time for food and drink can also give you some structure when you need it and help improve your mood too.
Practise some personal care.
When you are feeling sad or distressed, practicing some personal care can help you feel comforted and refreshed. Taking a shower, brushing your hair or just getting dressed might feel like a real effort sometimes so do what feels right for you and maybe try just one act of personal care to start with and build from there.
Connect with someone.
When you are grieving, it can sometimes feel like a lonely experience. Connecting just with one person might help you feel less alone. If talking face to face isn’t something you want to do, a simple text, phone call or even email might be enough for you and that’s okay.
If these things feel too much
If self-care feels like an overwhelming task, try just doing a few things from the checklist per day (or even just one) to start with and build it up as you go. Remember, this is an individual process so do what feels right for you.
If you would like a helpful reminder
You can write it or print it out and put it on your fridge, pin board, mirror or screen saver as a daily reminder to take good care of yourself.
Of course, you might find that other things form a helpful part of your daily self care checklist too. Perhaps keep a note of them somewhere, to remind you of the things you’d like to do each day.
Talk to someone at Kooth
As always, if you’d like to speak to a Kooth mental health practitioner about anything at all, you can reach out by messages or live chat.
You may need to register first. Kooth is completely free and here to help you with anything you may be experiencing.