This article was written by a neurodivergent Kooth writer. It discusses different types of neurodivergence like autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and dyspraxia, as well as mental health difficulties like anxiety.

As an autistic person, I think it’s important that we listen to neurodivergent peoples’ thoughts on their experiences. In this article, I spoke to eight neurodivergent people and asked them questions about their identities as neurodivergent folk. We hope that we can provide a deeper understanding of what it means to be neurodivergent, and to provide some positive, uplifting perspectives.

First, I asked people: ‘What do you feel are the positive things about being neurodivergent?’

Creativity

Rachael (she/her), a queer* person with ADHD, said: “I think I approach things in more creative ways because my brain approaches things from a different direction. I see the world in a very different way; I find certain things much clearer and more obvious than other people seem to.”

Andie (they/them), an autistic person, also appreciates their creativity and unique perspective. They said: “I like that I think differently to others and I can offer a different perspective on the world. Being autistic allows me to get lost in my passions and creativity, which brings me joy.”

There’s a negative stereotype that autistic people aren’t creative because we supposedly think in very rigid ways or don’t have good imaginations. But, this is very often not the case. In fact, Emma (she/her), who identifies as autistic, said: “My ways of thinking are guided less by social norms and are more flexible.”

Sometimes being neurodivergent can mean we’re more creative because we’re coming at things from a completely different perspective than neurotypical people. We’ve had to learn rules that neurotypical people seem to know by default, which also means we get to choose whether we want to accept those rules or break them instead.

*Queer is a term used by those wanting to reject labels relating to romantic, sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

Empathy

Emma said, “I am afforded an empathy that allows me to excel in my job as a mental health support worker.” This goes against another common misconception that autistic people don’t experience empathy for others – a view that has begun to be debunked in research in recent years. In fact, some autistic people, like Emma, experience more empathy than allistic (non-autistic) people.

Feeling things deeply was a really common theme in the responses. Jordan, who identifies as autistic and also has obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety, said: “I do tend to feel emotions a lot deeper than other people. It means when I find joy in things, I feel an overwhelming amount of happiness.”

Connection

Jess, who identifies as an ‘autistic queer woman’, listed lots of lovely positives to being neurodivergent. Jess said: “I love feeling so deeply; being so excited by my passions and absolutely euphoric about my special interests; the beauty of stimming; the strong sense of justice and morality; embracing my quirkiness; my creativity; my connection to nature and animals; my amazing eye for detail; my unique sense of humour; and my priority of precision and planning. There are just so many beautiful positives. The main one is that I just feel so alive because I feel everything so intensely (even though it’s overwhelming at times). I feel so deeply proud of being autistic and the positives of neurodivergence are endless.”

Next, I asked, ‘Do you feel like there are any negatives to being neurodivergent?’

Inaccessibility

In fact, Jess summed this up really well, saying: “The negatives of neurodivergence and the things I hate about being autistic are pretty much all based around how we can sometimes be treated in society. So essentially, there aren’t many negatives of neurodivergence at all, they only really appear when neurodivergent folks interact with ignorant neurotypicals and an inaccessible society.”

Quinn said, “Many people around me do not understand how my brain works, so it can be hard sometimes – especially with family.” Relatedly, Rachael said: “I struggle when people are passive-aggressive because I hate when I know that there’s a problem but no one’s telling me what it is. I like to problem solve, but I can’t do that if they don’t tell me what the problem is.”

Struggles at school and work

One autistic person with OCD and anxiety said, “School was horrible, from nursery to college. I was constantly unable to attend or dropping out due to extreme stress from the lessons and the social aspects, even with support. It really ruined my mental health.” Rachael also said, “I struggle with ambiguity and a lack of deadlines, and in my work, this is very difficult to get clarification on.”

Masking

And finally, a couple of people also mentioned the exhaustion and burnout that comes from feeling like you have to mask (try and present in neurotypical ways) and from doing ‘more behind the scenes than others do, just to get by’. It’s important to draw attention to the fact that often, the most difficult things about being neurodivergent are external. It’s feeling pressure to be something you’re not, feeling like you have to fit in and adhere to rules that don’t make sense to you, or having to deal with misinformation and negative attitudes.

Next, I asked – How has finding out you’re neurodivergent or starting to identify as neurodivergent impacted your life?

Acceptance

Quinn said, “I’m starting to understand that I don’t function the same way as others, and that it’s okay, it is just how my brain works.” Emma said, “I no longer punish myself for feeling drained and overwhelmed by life. I carve out time for decompressing and have coping strategies that work for me.”

“Being diagnosed as autistic has been very positive for me,” said Andie. “I understand myself a lot more now and give myself grace when I’m struggling. Before, I would be hard on myself for not being able to keep up with or act like everyone else. I like being able to connect with other people with similar experiences to me and being part of a community.”

Understanding

And Rachael said: “It has helped me to understand that I’m not ‘bad at easy stuff’. I can see the positives in the way my funky brain works and appreciate that. Without the hard bits, I wouldn’t have the good stuff. I am more willing to fight for accommodations, and I have been able to think about and put in place structures that help me organise and manage myself. I understand my triggers better so I can better manage my RSD.”

(RSD stands for ‘rejection sensitivity dysphoria’, something some people experience as part of their neurodivergence. In simple terms, it refers to how neurodivergent people are often more sensitive to perceived rejection.)

Jess said, “For my entire life before my diagnosis, I would always berate myself for being ‘sensitive’ and ‘weird.’ I was always so frustrated with myself all the time and I seriously felt like an alien. It has helped me understand how to manage my mental health better. I’ve formed beautiful bonds with other autistic/neurodivergent people in my life and found a sense of community. I’ve learnt to advocate for myself and prioritise accommodating my neurodivergence in everyday life. I allow myself to be myself. It has just made me feel so much happier and alive in so many ways.”

When I got my diagnosis, it meant I no longer felt like I was failing at being a neurotypical person, I was instead pretty darn good at being an autistic one. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading the article above – thank you to everyone I interviewed for their responses. It’s so important that we continue these kinds of conversations so that one day we can live in a world where everyone understands neurodivergence on a much deeper level, and so that neurodivergent people feel as though they can accept and celebrate themselves.

*All names used in this article are pseudonyms to protect anonymity.