At Kooth, we often help young people to keep themselves safe by supporting them to create a safety plan. We realise that some of our users here might prefer to use other areas of the site (such as the magazine and discussion boards) rather than chat. With this in mind, we want to show you how to create your own safety plan to help you feel safer and more in control if things feel difficult. This might be especially helpful during school holidays and times when access to your usual support is limited.
A safety plan is a practical tool to help keep you safe right now.
Having a safety plan means that in a crisis or when you feel unsafe in any way, you have something to refer to in that moment that can help you feel more in control of your situation.
There could be many reasons why a safety plan might be a good idea for you, including urges to hurt yourself or others, feeling unsafe at home, or feeling at risk from others around you away from home.
The term “safety plan” might not feel right for you, so feel free to change the name if it works better. Some people use the terms “coping plan” or “crisis plan”.
If it’s helpful, you could write the following headings in bold on a piece of paper or in the notes on your phone so that you can brainstorm as we take you through each step.
This is about identifying the risk around you, which can be things like self-harm impulses, suicidal thoughts, or feeling at risk of harm from others.
Example: I am having thoughts to hurt myself that have been increasing. I haven’t acted on these thoughts, so a safety plan might help me to manage these impulses.
Sometimes it’s tricky to identify when you feel more at risk. Looking at clues in how you think, feel, and behave or even common situations that cause you to feel more at risk can be really helpful here.
Example: My thoughts to hurt myself increase if I have had an argument with somebody (e.g. parents, friends, teachers). I notice I feel hot, fidgety, and tearful, and I struggle to sleep at night time.
People often have great ways to cope already, so identifying what you already know works for you can be helpful. Whatever it is you find yourself doing that makes you feel calmer, distracted, understood, or heard – those are the things you want to tap into. It can be things like reaching out to a friend, listening to music, doing something creative like art, writing, or spending time with a pet.
Example: – My dog always makes me feel better. Telling him about my day, how I feel, or just sitting in silence stroking his fur helps me to feel calmer.
This is a great way to reflect on the points in the section above and think about practical things you can do to keep yourself safe.
Example: – Making a playlist to calm me down and using it when things feel tough, writing down my feelings help to soothe me, and playing my favourite video game all help to lift my mood and distract me if I’m at home. If I’m at school or somewhere else, I know that talking to my best friend and carrying around a lip balm I like the smell of is useful for me, as it takes my mind off my thoughts to hurt myself and lifts my mood, too.
This section is about exploring what others around you can do to help you stay safe. Doing this, might also help you think about letting someone know what they can do to help, as sometimes people don’t always know what to do when things are tough.
Example: – My best friend being around me is useful without the pressure to talk or do anything. Just being with them for a walk or listening to music together in silence really helps.
Sometimes when things feel overwhelming, it can be useful to change your thinking by reminding yourself or telling yourself of things to help you feel calmer, comforted, and supported.
Example:
This is a great way to step outside of your situation and explore what you might say to someone else who is struggling. Sometimes we have great advice for others and forget to give it to ourselves.
Example. – I would tell someone else that things can change, and while they might feel like this today, it might not always feel this way. Press pause and see where you are tomorrow.
When you don’t feel safe or you feel at risk of hurting yourself or others, being somewhere that feels comforting, calming, and, most of all safe, from harm can be really useful.
Example. – The local library is a great place to be for me. The books and the smell of the place is really comforting. If I’m at home, my bedroom with familiar things, photos, and smells feels safe for me.
Identifying who you can turn to when things feel difficult may help you to think about who to reach out to in times of need.
Example: – My best friend, my Grandma, and a family friend are all people I know I can reach out to. If this isn’t possible for any reason, and if I can’t reach out to Kooth either, I also know I can call ChildLine (call 0800 11 11), Samaritans (call 116123), and SHOUT (text 85258), as they are 24/7 services.
Once you’ve brainstormed your safety plan ideas, write them up and keep them somewhere you can access them whenever you need (e.g. the front of your diary, a file on your computer, or a place you keep your personal things). You can type, handwrite, or store them in your phone notes if it’s easier. If it feels right, get creative by using colours, collage, and images.
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